A husband sent a letter to Coleen Nolan who is Britain’s straightest-talking agony aunt, giving advice on sex, relationship, and life problems.
The husband talked about his wife’s affair with a colleague. He wanted to know how can he get her to open up in therapy so they can consider having children?
Let us read the letter first.
My wife had an extramarital affair with a guy for 18 months while we lived together.
We have been together for 13 years and got married six years ago. Although I love kids and want to be a dad yet, we had not planned to start a family.
My wife and I are both 39. I recently came to know the harsh reality that my wife was having an affair with her workmate. They both slept together, and the affair continued for 18 months after our marriage.
I never doubted my wife. She herself told me the whole thing. She was in tears while admitting everything she did and said she couldn’t live with this guilt anymore. We both were so busy with our work that I never suspected anything.
The decision to stay together after knowing the reality was not easy. It took a lot of courage, and it was so painful to let it go. We decided to have therapy together to save our relationship. I thought we’d be honest and speak our hearts, but she is not opening, and things are not improving.
My wife said she didn’t fell into this intentionally; it just happened.We were too busy with our work that we neglected our relationship.
We gave more attention to our careers than each other.Thus when I got attention from another guy, I couldn’t help myself. As soon as I realized that I’m doing unfair to you, it was too late. I’ve gone so far with that guy.
Due to the pandemic, the sessions were arranged via a zoom meeting, and they didn’t really help. I’m feeling that my wife is not up for taking this relationship long.
Should we quit? Having kids at this point also doesn’t seem a good option.
At the moment, not having a child is the right choice, but putting this on hold for six years may have contributed to the issue. You’re right about if that without the engagement of pour wife, things cant get better. Change the therapist; maybe your wife connects with someone else better.
Moving on is not easy; it may take some time to bring things back to normal. Wait a bit more. You may reach a clear conclusion to quit the relationship or give it a second chance.